I miss you

CS: Hi Dan
Cruz, Dan: Can't sleep.
CS: coffee?
Cruz, Dan: No.. I don't know.. Something's bothering me.. I haven't eaten the whole day because of it.
CS: What?
CS: You wanna talk about it?
Cruz, Dan: I'm not even hungry.
CS: *pat pat*
CS: Did something happen?
Cruz, Dan: I want to talk about it but.. Err..
Cruz, Dan: So bad..
CS: Okay...
CS: Dan, anong nangyari?
CS: You know you can talk to me naman eh
Cruz, Dan: Nasabi ko pala kala Von and Ada..
Cruz, Dan: What we did when I was there.
Cruz, Dan: Or what you were to me.
Cruz, Dan: Couldn't keep it anymore.
Cruz, Dan: I had to talk to someone.
Cruz, Dan: Or I'm going to explode.
CS: Ano reaction nila?
Cruz, Dan: Bug-eyed.
Cruz, Dan: Then paused then a *sigh.
CS: Oh.
CS: So did you feel better nung na-let out mo na?
Cruz, Dan: Hell no..
Cruz, Dan: I miss you more because of that.
CS: 5 months na rin noh?
CS: Oh well.
Cruz, Dan: Talking is never going to be enough.
Cruz, Dan: This is so G-damn hard.
CS: I know..
CS: Kahit hindi enough.
CS: What's your shoutout about?
Cruz, Dan: Oh, that.
Cruz, Dan: My school friends are teasing me to this girl in school.
Cruz, Dan: Keep on telling me to try and go out with her and stuff.
Cruz, Dan: So ayun.
Cruz, Dan: Told them, I would've if I wanted to. But no..
Cruz, Dan: Or I don't know.
Cruz, Dan: Then ayun.
Cruz, Dan: Wala.
CS: Oh okay.
CS: Hindi mo trip yung girl?
CS: Pero type ka?
Cruz, Dan: I like the girl.
Cruz, Dan: But I've told myself countless times that I wouldn't go out with someone that goes to the same establishment as I go to.
CS: Ahhhh
Cruz, Dan: Why?
CS: Why what?
Cruz, Dan: I was kind of expecting something more than an "Ahhhh".
CS: " But I've told myself countless times that I wouldn't go out with someone that goes to the same establishment as I do." --Ilang beses ko na kasi narinig yung reasoning na yan eh
CS: So "Ahhh" nalang yung sagot ko
Cruz, Dan: Oh..
Cruz, Dan: Errr..
CS: Hehe
CS: So what's YOUR reason ba? Baka iba pala.
Cruz, Dan: My reason?
Cruz, Dan: Kindly elaborate.
CS: Why you don't want to date someone who goes to the same establishment as you go to?
Cruz, Dan: Basically, I don't want to date anybody.
Cruz, Dan: Yet.
CS: I see..
CS: Hanggang kailan yung "yet" na yun?
Cruz, Dan: As long as you're aimlessly running in my mind, I won't.
CS: Haay. I see.
CS: Okay
Cruz, Dan: Because if do, I'll feel like I'm cheating on you..
Cruz, Dan: I mean, now.
CS: Haay, Dan. I really don't know what to do or say, except sana nalang andyan ako. Or andito ka. Whichever.
Cruz, Dan: I'm just going to smoke for a while. I need a breather..
CS: Go ahead

---

Cruz, Dan: A friend told me something.
CS: Ano sabi ng friend mo?
Cruz, Dan: To not limit myself when it comes to happiness.
Cruz, Dan: It goes the same for you.
CS: *nods*
CS: I agree.
CS: So you really like this other girl, huh?
Cruz, Dan: She's getting under my skin.
CS: I see.
Cruz, Dan: Please say something more than that..
CS: Dan, hindi naman kasi kita mapipigilan eh. Yeah, I want you to be with me, instead of her. But 7000 miles is a long way, and... yun.
CS: Malungkot ako, no doubt. But I can't really blame you for that. The situation sucks lang talaga.
CS: Okay.. now you say something.
Cruz, Dan: I'm having a hard time typing.. I'm shaking.

---

CS: *sigh*
CS: Thanks for being honest, Dan.
Cruz, Dan: The worst feeling was the last message you sent me before I left. There and then, I wanted to stay. I wanted you to be with me until the last minutes of my stay. I was infatuated with the presence of our friends when I got back and eventually, I was thinking and feeling that something was amiss. I couldn't get over it. You already took a part of me and I don't want it back. I want you to keep it. Words will never be enough to explain everything. Never has been a day I did not miss being on the passenger seat, the one changing radio stations, being your companion, holding your hand, embracing you, and even getting a kiss. I miss everything. I miss you so much it's confusing.
CS: Dan, I don't know what to do..
Cruz, Dan: Reading is fine.
CS: I miss you too. So much. Every day.
CS: *sigh*
CS: Babalik ka ba dito?
Cruz, Dan: Not too soon.
CS: I can't wait for not too soon to come.
CS: Anyway, this other girl.. was she the one you were telling me about? Around.. feb or march, I think?
Cruz, Dan: Yes.
CS: Oh okay. Lagi kayong nagkikita?
Cruz, Dan: Well.. We attend the same class. So.. Every other day. It's more complicated than this. We don't even sms each other.
Cruz, Dan: What's on your mind?
CS: I'm thinking about when or how we can be in the same place.
CS: Hmm. So.. ano sinasabi mo sa college friends pag tinantanong nila kung bakit hindi mo siya pinopormahan?
Cruz, Dan: "Pinopormahan"..
CS: Ah mali ba yung term?
Cruz, Dan: I shrug it off.
CS: Ah ok. Do Von and Ada know about the girl?
Cruz, Dan: Von already met her. Von goes the same school as I do.
CS: Oh. Ano advice nila sayo?
Cruz, Dan: Not Von and Ada but my two other close friends in school.
CS: To never limit yourself when it comes to happiness.
Cruz, Dan: That was before.. I told them I had to talk to you first before anything happens and I'll get my answers after the weekend.
CS: What are you planning to do?
Cruz, Dan: Think things through.
Cruz, Dan: Analyze things.
CS: Alright. I hope you'll let me know before you do anything drastic. Baka magulat nalang ako bigla pag log in ko sa Facebook eh. Haha.
Cruz, Dan: I'll keep you posted?
CS: If you don't mind.
Cruz, Dan: I don't.
Cruz, Dan: You do the same.
CS: Ahuh.