After a lifetime of miscalculations, errors, misconceptions, everything ended in a surprise.
I was, trying to act miserable, thinking what I have lost now and tomorrow but the phrase, "trying to act miserable" was already aloof.
What was wrong was that I keep on thinking about the good parts of our relationship. But when I think about the bad parts of it. It'll just make me want to kill someone. Slowly. Painfully.
Things really ended in a surprise. After a very good Saturday, a wonderful Sunday morning, she just ended it in the afternoon. Yes, we've been fighting alot since I have trust issues with her. But you can't blame me. She fucking fucked her fucking ex on fucking new year's. So It'll be hard for me to trust her. Of course she has to make up for it. I took her back. And that was a really big part of me that I gave away.
Going on..
There I was, asking her why, but the only reason she gave me was because we're both having a hard time. True. But now, looking back, I think it was just on impulse why I tried to convince her back when I know, deep inside I actually felt relieved.
Now, it's going to be hard for me to believe in fairy tales of forever, lifetimes, and endless descriptions of love, trust, commitment and whatnot.
It's just me. I don't think she really wanted this relationship anyway. I looked like a consolation prize for a broken seven year relationship. ZING!
